


Fragility of The Mind

by Tarvok



Series: Redemption [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Character Study, Dissociation, Injury, M/M, Mental Instability, Other, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 02:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarvok/pseuds/Tarvok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Harrison is imprisoned rather than re-placed into his cryotube.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragility of The Mind

**Author's Note:**

> I do not plan my stories out ahead of time. This will be updated on that basis. Please be patient.

Fragility of The Mind,  
As pondered by John “Khan” Harrison.

By Tarvok

 

Humans are such fragile things. Even I, with my far superior strength and mind, am not impervious to this fragility. Exhaustion is not something with which I am familiar, yet I find it to be my constant companion now. My everlasting spirit desires to rest, desperately so.

My family is my weakness. I live only for them now in this world, so different from my own, yet so very much the same. They are not of my blood, yet our bonds to one another are unbreakable. I find myself saddened that they must sleep, yet relieved that they be spared this torment. I do not find my imprisonment to be uncomfortable, nor do I find it unjust and unfair. I committed a crime; however justified I believed it to be, and I willingly serve my sentence. As long as I remain in my cage, they shall live.

My only regret is what I did to _him_. I hold no ill will toward his betrayal; I would have done just the same if our situations had been reversed. I ponder what could have been had I met him under much more enlightening circumstances. I find myself dreaming of him often, as tedium is another constant companion in this dreary place. As I am unable to converse with my jailers, or at least leave my small cell, I must find some form of entertainment, after all.

Just last evening he came to see me. We dined upon the richest of dishes, drank our fill of the most expensive wine. I made love to him through my tears, knowing it was not real. I listened to my jailers laugh, and laugh, and laugh at my pain, as is every morning, afternoon, and evening. There are times I pray to any god, that he will come to see me... that I may smile at him, and he may curse me or spit upon me, or scream at me in his grief. I can die happily if only he were to come visit just once... that I may tell him how utterly sorry I am for taking his family away, that I may tell him how I feel, of our times together. Will he remember? Of course not, because it isn't real.

My memory is gone. I can no longer tell how long I have been imprisoned in this place. All is white; white floors, white walls, white clothes... perhaps even the air I breathe is tinged with white. Only my sweet James is colored in the most vibrant clothing of my homeland, with reds, and greens, and blues, with golden sashes and the delicate little earrings I got for him so long ago.

Perhaps he wishes to visit and cannot, for they are keeping him from me. Corruption is still very much present in this time, and capable of being manipulated should I make the attempt. I can free myself, if only that he may see me.

 


End file.
